Before my first colonoscopy, I thought drinking 4 litres of Fortrans would be the worst part. It wasn’t.
The real surprise came at the hospital. The patient before me came out asleep and was snoring beside me. I thought, Great. I’ll get a good sleep too.
Why I Had the Scopes
A few months earlier, I had what the doctors suspected was food poisoning. I spent much of the night nauseous and retching, with persistent hiccups, and eventually went to A&E. There was a tiny streak of fresh blood in my vomit, and a CT scan apparently showed inflammation in my colon.
I recovered and had no more stomach or bowel symptoms. But the doctors arranged an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy to check what had happened.
I’m in my 40s, and I figured it was a good time for a check-up anyway. My insurance covered it, so I went ahead.
The Prep
The hospital gave me a restricted diet for 3 days. I questioned whether it really needed to be that long and asked ChatGPT, which said shorter diets can work too.
But eating white rice, noodles, eggs, chicken and fish wasn’t particularly difficult, so I mostly stuck to the instructions. I did still drink milk tea, even though milk wasn’t on the allowed list.
Fortrans was another matter. I drank 2 litres the evening before, then another 2 litres between 4 and 6 am for my 9 am appointment. It didn’t taste good, but having to finish 4 litres made it much harder.
After the evening dose, nothing happened at first. Then I made the mistake of thinking I had more bowel control than I did, and had a liquid-stool accident overnight. By morning, I knew to stay close to the toilet. The second round sent me there about 5 to 7 times, until what came out was pale-yellow, clear liquid.
If you’re doing this for the first time, don’t treat a quiet first hour as permission to wander off. And follow your own hospital’s timings, not mine.
I Wasn’t Put to Sleep
Seeing the previous patient snore had given me the wrong idea. A nurse told me I’d have moderate sedation, that people respond differently, and that I might still feel something. I asked about it, but I still expected to drift off or at least remember very little.
First came the upper endoscopy, through my mouth. They sprayed my throat, asked me to gargle and swallow, then sprayed it again. It was bitter and a little spicy before the numbness took over. I bit on a mouthpiece, and to my surprise I could barely feel the scope. That part was much easier than I expected.
Then came the colonoscopy. The sedation went through a vein in my arm, but I stayed fully awake. Most of the discomfort seemed to be around my anus; I can’t say I felt the scope moving around inside my colon. I tensed up and made a few sounds despite trying to keep quiet. It felt like 10 to 15 minutes, though I wasn’t exactly watching a clock.
Moderate sedation didn’t put me to sleep, but I think it still took the edge off. I imagine it would have hurt a lot more without it, especially since the scope reached the end of my colon. The woman beside me was snoring; I remember the whole thing.
The Result
Both scopes were normal. There was no colitis, polyp, ulcer or tear, and my H. pylori test was negative. After the earlier A&E visit, that was a relief.
I went in worried about drinking 4 litres of Fortrans. I came out knowing that the person snoring next to you isn’t necessarily a preview of your own procedure.