I read this philosophy book that is written in a conversational style between a philosopher and a young man. It’s a dialouge as the philosopher tries to impart Adlerian Psychology to him.
The argument seems to end abruptly. While I am not fully convinced (or I don’t understand enough), it’s a rather enlightening book.
Maybe perhaps idealistic.
Highlights
This is the difference between etiology (the study of causation) and teleology (the study of the purpose of a given phenomenon)
Your self-consciousness putting the brakes on and not letting you behave in an innocent way.
It’s the genuine desire to not be laughed at, to not be thought of as a fool.
So life in general has no meaning whatsoever.
But you can assign meaning to that life.
And you are the only one who can assign meaning to your life.
The courage to be normal?
Probably because one cannot accept one’s normal self.
If you are able to possess the courage to be normal, your way of looking at the world will change dramatically.
You equate being normal with being incapable.
Affirmative resignation?
Kurt Vonnegut quoted in one of his books: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
Anyone can behave like a king when they’re alone.
You can’t do such things in front of others.
It’s about community feeling, after all.
It’s making the switch from attachment to self (self-interest) to concern for others (social interest) and gaining a sense of community feeling.
So if one just has community feeling, the desire for recognition will disappear?
It is enough to have the subjective sense of being of use to someone, that is to say, a feeling of contribution.
Happiness is the feeling of contribution.
Listen to the voice of the larger community.
Don’t be afraid of being disliked.
Can people actually endure the weight of freedom?
You think, I’ve got that boss, so I can’t work. This is complete etiology.
I don’t want to work, so I’ll create an awful boss, or I don’t want to acknowledge my incapable self, so I’ll create an awful boss.
That would be the teleological way of looking at it.
What I should do is face my own tasks in my own life without lying.
This is the client’s task, and the counselor cannot intervene.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
You are the only one who can change yourself.
In general, all interpersonal relationship troubles are caused by intruding on other people’s tasks, or having one’s own tasks intruded on.
Carrying out the separation of tasks is enough to change one’s interpersonal relationships dramatically.
“Tasks of work,” “tasks of friendship,” and “tasks of love,” and all together as “life tasks.”
The interpersonal relationships that a single individual has no choice but to confront when attempting to live as a social being—these are the life tasks.
We end up relying on anger to communicate.
Believe in the power of language and the language of logic.
The moment one is convinced that “I am right” in an interpersonal relationship, one has already stepped into a power struggle.
The feeling of inferiority can be a trigger for striving and growth.
The inferiority complex refers to a condition of having begun to use one’s feeling of inferiority as a kind of excuse.
“I’m not well educated, so I can’t succeed,” or “I’m not good-looking, so I can’t get married.”
“I’m not good enough anyway” or “Even if I tried, I wouldn’t stand a chance.”
That’s not a feeling of inferiority — that’s an inferiority complex.
“Complex” refers to an abnormal mental state made up of a complicated group of emotions and ideas.
When we try to change our lifestyles, we put our great courage to the test.
Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment.
You just lack courage.
You are lacking in the courage to be happy.
People are not driven by past causes but move toward goals that they themselves set.
You will begin to change. Not by my words, but by your own doing.
I do not want to take away that valuable process of arriving at answers through dialogue.
The first step to change is knowing.
You should arrive at answers on your own, not rely upon what you get from someone else.
Answers from others are nothing more than stopgap measures; they’re of no value.
Takeaway
The book introduced a fancy word: the teleological way. That in layman term is how we make up excuses and describe “causes” to our pathetic situations.
But he applied that to everything, including even real & childhood trauma.
He’s saying that even your suffering is serving a purpose — often a hidden one.
So the question becomes not “Did my trauma cause my behavior?”, but rather “What purpose is my current behavior serving? Does it still serve me now?”
If Freud’s worldview is “we are products of our past,” Adler’s is “we are authors of our future.”