Brain Rules for Baby

It was an excellent self-help book with scientific reasonings.

When I discovered I would soon be having a baby, I bought the book sequel - Brain Rules for Baby.

It is once again another excellent book.

It teaches new parents how to raise a smart and happy child from zero to five (years old).

I shall abide my parenting methods from concepts in the book :)

Pregnancy

Leave the baby alone
Don’t waste money on pre-born baby products
The only proven brain boosters are:
1. Weight - Gain proper weight (correlates with higher IQ)
2. Nutrition - Folic Acid, Omega-3 (from fish), and more fruits & vegetables
3. Stress - Releasing stress hormones is like cruise missiles
4. Exercise

Human intelligence has 2 essential components: ability to record information and capacity to adapt that information to unique situations
Genetic contribution is about 50%
Many ingredients make up the human intelligence stew
But these 5 are the main ingredients:
1. The desire to explore
2. Self-control
3. Creativity
4. Verbal communication
5. Interpreting nonverbal communication

Firstly, create an environment of safety. A safe harbour.
Brain boosters:
- Breast-feed for a year
- Talk to your baby a lot (2,100 words per hour)
No TV (or other digital devices) before age 2

Money increases happiness only when it lifts people out of poverty - around $50,000 a year would be sufficient, and any more would not help as much
Single best predictor of happiness: having friends
Learn to regulate emotions - will have deeper friendships
Emotions are incredibly important to the brain. They act like Post-it notes, helping the brain identify, filter, and prioritize.

How you deal with your toddlers’ intense emotions is a huge factor in how happy your child will be as an adult
Acknowledge, name, and empathise with emotions
Only 1 parenting style product terrific kids:
- Demanding and warm (Authoritative)
- Warm parents communicate their affection
- Demanding parents exert behavioural control e.g. rules

Punishment has several limitations:
- Suppresses behaviour but not the child’s knowledge of how to misbehave
- Without guidance, the child won’t know what the replacement behaviour should be
- Arouses negative emotions - risk counterproductively and real damage to your connection with your child
How to punish:
- Be firm - not soften
- Be consistent - administered every time the rule is broken
- Be swift - immediately, not even 1 second delay
- Be emotionally safe - administered in the warm atmosphere (that is you care about them)
Praise for good behaviour
Rules must be explained with rationale
- If not, it will sound like a command
- Helps them internalise moral behaviour
Hitting is a form of lazy parenting

No one-size-fits-all answer for sleep issues
Science could not provide much answers to this area!
2 styles:
- Nighttime Attachment Parenting (NAP)
- Cry-It-Out (CIO)
Decide for yourself:
- Do you think baby’s wants and needs are the same thing during the first year (when they cry)?
First 6 months there is no patten when they want to sleep
At 6 months, choose a plan (NAP or CIO), evaluate your efforts, and get ready to change your plan.

Reconstitute a vigorous social structure eg. Parent Support Groups, hosts get-togethers
Training in empathy reflex with partner - verbalize emotions
If you fight in front of your children, reconcile in front of them
Create a Chocolate Factory (playroom)
- Lots of choices
- A place for drawing, painting, music, …
- Anything where a child can be safely let loose, joyously free to explore whatever catches her fancy
Play “opposite day” - train executive function
Make play plans
Praise them for their hard work, not for being talented
Trade for digital time
- Category I time is for recreational experiences - games, web surfing, video watching
- Kids could “buy” a certain amount of Category I time with time spent reading, etc
Verbally speculate on other people - train in empathy
Read together
Expose them to music - helps in maintaining friendship

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